the last night of me-

put yourself out there
you will learn better
one of these days when
you've been chewed up and spit out
so many times
you're not even solid aymore
and love
ha
loving the wrong people is all you seem to do
until you those wrong people
have brought out everything
that ever made you break
as a child
but you're an adult now
and when you break
you shatter
into dust

when all the people you loved so much
find their way
they will have already killed you
you will be gone
and dead
and it won't matter to you
you were the sacrafice
you were the lesson
you were not made for this world
so
close your eyes
it's time to let your body
and everything else
go

march 3rd- i can't write for shit

spent saturday night
in a hotel
with you
-
crazy as that sounds
it used to inspire
something
adventures
and moments
that made me love
and made me feel good

but now
it doesn't excite
or inspire
it doesn't make me
feel like i can move mountains
or conquer the world
with my love
cause i don't feel the love
anymore
like once before
you kept us down

there's no movement
there's no growth
there's no life
cause this isn't loving
and this isn't living
cause you and i aren't in love anymore
i love you
and i care about you
enough to let you go

i don't want to see you ruined
i'd rather feel you
in love so crazy so wild
i'd rather go mad from love
than insane from
existing and watching our love as it goes away
fades away
that is the worst thing
i could ever imagine
the one thing i would never want
to go through
set it on fire
watch it burn
while it's still up in flames
we turn
and run away

never watch it die
never fade away

blah

Sepia-Tone Dusk in an Angels Garden On a Day Like Today

The soft moss swimming;
It is the dying spirit.
Desiring, I hide.

Pink shore, serene breeze.
The flat, upright sparkle shines.
Lost moon, velvet spirit.

Walk, swim. With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits. A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining, I fall

deep within and go far away...




-kyoko cole 2013-

i can't talk to you or see you anymore.

why do you want it to be this way?
do you like it where it is?
did you ever want more?
when i see you let it be
less than
what i once knew it could be
it hurst
it makes me sick
it makes me want to forget

you don't care what you're doing to it right now
cause it's still here
i'm still here
trying
even though you would like me to not say anything
and just allow us to die slowly
sigh
the only way for you to ever know what you do to the people who love you
is for you to lose
what you thought would always be there
for you no matter how many times
you wouldn't

the hardest thing for me to do
is to say goodbye to someone i truly loved
i never felt as strongly as i do
right now about having to
walk away
and leave you behind
 you won't appreciate me if i stay
you don't even know
what you're doing
to this
to us
right now
you don't even realize how special our love was
how much i loved you
you just kicked it down to it's place once it was down
you never helped it get back up
you don't see that right now
but you will
and for a little while at least it will haunt you
cause that's what the ghost of things do

i never asked you for something i knew you couldn't do
what i was asking for was just something you wouldn't do

i never saw that you really wanted me around enough for me to stay
you showed me all the things to make me go away

 

yeah my hands are shakin'

make a bunch of excuses
up
and pour out
of your insides
inside out
you are
i am
invisible
to your heart right now
want to make me
make you disappear forever?
well you're doing a fine job so far
on your own
make up some lies
cover up some tracks
in your head it makes up for
all that lacks
but the cloud your head is stuck in
is too thick
you can hardly see
the real world through
you don't know how it feels to be handed
a bunch of bullshit on a platter
time and time again
cause my feelings to you don't matter
you show it
and show it
time and time
and time
again
soon you won't be somebody to me
soon you won't even be somebody that once was
you're making me make you into nothing
you're making me erase you from my brain
for good
the only way for me
to stay sane
to stay somewhat sane
after the fucked up shit you put me through
after all the bullshit that makes up you
clean up
wash away
take out the trash
disinfect
the parts you  infected
affected
effected 
  i got no more room
to house
a life sucker
little fucker like you

i piss you goodbye
and watch as i flush you down
where you belong

 

i like you

even when you act like a dick

don't let the shit people bring you down

deal with the shit heads
head on you're a part of what makes the scene
and whether you like it or not
you are a part of the party
you are a part of the group
don't think you have some kind of control over those people
cause in the waiting room
in the waiting line
they creep in
they suck you dry
they are leeches
and it shakes your head
rattles your walls
-
some people are stronger
most people just look strong in the line of fire
what's funny is that those people aren't really strong
they just don't care
they don't think about what is good and what is toxic
they like the party
they like the attention
and for a time being they feed off it.
they eat that shit up
- but