Friday, December 23, 2011

hell is empty and all the devils are here

i don't know what i would do without my distractions

had to leave
had to get out of the head i was in
and the only place to go
was back
to the start
back home
go home
home to me
wherever that may be
saw a friend
and throughout the day - a few more
distractions keep me alive
in a crowded room
i found you again
i saw you again
and when other things
i once knew
fade and die
all around me
your face in a room of many
fills the space
another left empty
and that
 is all
i need to get by.
it makes the others die
while i am distracted by something else
and that something else
right now

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Nothing left

How little you try to keep me around
truth is the only time you really try is when I'm gone and can't be found.
This time I won't say the same thing to you... I won't tell you how I feel. I know nothing I say will make you change or make you see...
the way you are is killing me.
You don't give even an inch where it helps. You just stand in the same place and never budge. always your way which now I see is no way -not for me
I'm leaving you there
with nothing more
And nothing left

Friday, December 09, 2011


you can remember why you liked me when i'm gone.
you can forget about me right in the now
when it's been like this for now and many days
but i will take you as you are and as you have been
i will take you as far away as you remain
i will let  you be you
as you i let you pass on by me
i will sit back and watch you
but from now i remain free
from effort and energy wasted
from expectations that left me
spent down to pennies
trying to keep up in a material world
trying to keep up
trying to do something
trying to be
other than be
the way we will
i've stopped trying
i've stopped buying
i've stopped crying
i've stopped dying
i've been lying to myself
to be any other
is not the way
now i see
i will just sit under the sun
and not be shaken
or rattled or changed by you
or anything that can't be undone
accept change comes
as a part of the cycle
and to know but never know when
is just a part of life.
i do not fight
i do not force
i can only see and allow it to  be
what it is
whatever it is
and myself too
for you are who you are
and i am who i am
i am nothing
if that helps
sleeping dogs lie
if that helps
let what is already dying die
and remember the past is just a goodbye
to let go is the only way
we shall
 live again

Sunday, November 20, 2011

a the grass

you say some shit
that brings out the ugly in you
to me/?
for what?
to hurt me?
cause you think you know me
or you feel like you do
i want spit your venom
right back at you
right in your face
and leave you to rot in pain
cause it seems like you have no problem doing that
to begin with

i'm glad i see your ugly
i really care enough to give it back
have a good fucking life

hanging from a tree

no good
for me 
to feel 
or to have
in anything i really want
if i want something
i have to not want it 
to get it
and then i don't want it anymore
so what's the point?

excitement of love 
i am...
very slowly
and dying 
not fast enough
to not feel 
any of the pain
that i feel
from having hope 
and not having you

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Busted my finger

Busted my finger today
And I don't want you anymore
I saw the truth
And the truth is
That you are somewhere else...
But not with me
Even if there's no one else
You are not and have never been with me

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Doesn't matter

What I feel
If I feel too much

Too little
Too late
To lose
All somewhere in between
The balance
The shift
The weight gets passed
gets pissed on
Too Past the time
To go anywhere

Thursday, September 08, 2011


i really love you
It feels so good and it feels so right
It feels like I´ve been rescued in the middle of the night
and the sweetest voice has spoken and the deepest wound is healed
and the darkness is exploding and it feels,
it just feels....

leonard cohen

This is The end

Of you and I...


Monday, August 15, 2011

i do love you

if this is all you have that's left of me
then i want you to know that i love you.
i want you to have that love with you

and that's all
i have to say
about that.

the strangest of the strange...

the strangest of the strange...
...i am

star loves the beatles too

star loves the beatles too
yeah i love the beatles too