i don't know what i would do without my distractions

had to leave

had to get out of the head i was in

and the only place to go

was back

to the start

back home

go home

home to me

wherever that may be

saw a friend

and throughout the day - a few more

distractions keep me alive

in a crowded room

i found you again

i saw you again

tonight

and when other things

i once knew

fade and die

all around me

your face in a room of many

fills the space

another left empty

and that

tonight

 is all

i need to get by.

it makes the others die

while i am distracted by something else

and that something else

right now

is

you.

drive to get lost somewhere with you

you know how much i crave you…
so much i devour you and
spit pieces of you out
and all over
me 
i am covered in you 
just to leave you
and disappear as i do
just to leave you 
with the memory 
and the smell 
of me 
until the next time
we meet 
in back seats
in secret spaces 
and in dark alleys again

i don't care to see you anymore

I've always been around
now I'm going away
i need to be away
from you
I'm lost tonight.
so fucking lost.
i feel so alone
but i know this is the only way for right now.
in the comforts of my bathroom
the only place i feel safe
the only room with lock on the door
i run the water of the bathtub
i listen
i start to cry
the sound of water speaks to me
in times like these
it's all i have and all i know when i need to escape
and even though
I'm a mess right now inside my heart
for some reason
i know i will be okay
--- without you -- i will be fine
i don't feel you with me anymore
i don't think you ever really were
not really anyways...
now less than ever
i just know that having you be this way again
has done something to me
i see you differently now
the way i feel about you has changed

the last thing i’ll ever write about you

Current mood: crushed

in passing through the night-
through the dark-
it only takes a moment for you to pull me in---
this isn't something i asked for
or maybe i did (long ago)
but i didn't ask for you
and i didn't want to feel this now
i'm thrown into this
somehow
and
i feel myself falling in
falling for
i feel myself wanting more
but tonight is the end
you know-this is where i stand
with my heart in my hand....
with my soul on my sleeve
it is now time for me to leave
-all i can do
all i can say
my words- my feelings
myself
will too soon fade away

this is the last thing i will ever write about you.