march 3rd- i can't write for shit

spent saturday night
in a hotel
with you
-
crazy as that sounds
it used to inspire
something
adventures
and moments
that made me love
and made me feel good

but now
it doesn't excite
or inspire
it doesn't make me
feel like i can move mountains
or conquer the world
with my love
cause i don't feel the love
anymore
like once before
you kept us down

there's no movement
there's no growth
there's no life
cause this isn't loving
and this isn't living
cause you and i aren't in love anymore
i love you
and i care about you
enough to let you go

i don't want to see you ruined
i'd rather feel you
in love so crazy so wild
i'd rather go mad from love
than insane from
existing and watching our love as it goes away
fades away
that is the worst thing
i could ever imagine
the one thing i would never want
to go through
set it on fire
watch it burn
while it's still up in flames
we turn
and run away

never watch it die
never fade away

blah

i can't talk to you or see you anymore.

why do you want it to be this way?
do you like it where it is?
did you ever want more?
when i see you let it be
less than
what i once knew it could be
it hurst
it makes me sick
it makes me want to forget

you don't care what you're doing to it right now
cause it's still here
i'm still here
trying
even though you would like me to not say anything
and just allow us to die slowly
sigh
the only way for you to ever know what you do to the people who love you
is for you to lose
what you thought would always be there
for you no matter how many times
you wouldn't

the hardest thing for me to do
is to say goodbye to someone i truly loved
i never felt as strongly as i do
right now about having to
walk away
and leave you behind
 you won't appreciate me if i stay
you don't even know
what you're doing
to this
to us
right now
you don't even realize how special our love was
how much i loved you
you just kicked it down to it's place once it was down
you never helped it get back up
you don't see that right now
but you will
and for a little while at least it will haunt you
cause that's what the ghost of things do

i never asked you for something i knew you couldn't do
what i was asking for was just something you wouldn't do

i never saw that you really wanted me around enough for me to stay
you showed me all the things to make me go away

 

i don't know what i would do without my distractions

had to leave

had to get out of the head i was in

and the only place to go

was back

to the start

back home

go home

home to me

wherever that may be

saw a friend

and throughout the day - a few more

distractions keep me alive

in a crowded room

i found you again

i saw you again

tonight

and when other things

i once knew

fade and die

all around me

your face in a room of many

fills the space

another left empty

and that

tonight

 is all

i need to get by.

it makes the others die

while i am distracted by something else

and that something else

right now

is

you.