hydrogen carbon and rust

soup hydrogen soup carbon 

truths scratched from the dirt 

rusting trucks 

die with years
in dry grass below

and with vultures above 

in waiting 

hungry like the old

hungry like the forgotten
waiting in line

for the dead

to come

waiting 

like we wait 

to die

i can't talk to you or see you anymore.

why do you want it to be this way?
do you like it where it is?
did you ever want more?
when i see you let it be
less than
what i once knew it could be
it hurst
it makes me sick
it makes me want to forget

you don't care what you're doing to it right now
cause it's still here
i'm still here
trying
even though you would like me to not say anything
and just allow us to die slowly
sigh
the only way for you to ever know what you do to the people who love you
is for you to lose
what you thought would always be there
for you no matter how many times
you wouldn't

the hardest thing for me to do
is to say goodbye to someone i truly loved
i never felt as strongly as i do
right now about having to
walk away
and leave you behind
 you won't appreciate me if i stay
you don't even know
what you're doing
to this
to us
right now
you don't even realize how special our love was
how much i loved you
you just kicked it down to it's place once it was down
you never helped it get back up
you don't see that right now
but you will
and for a little while at least it will haunt you
cause that's what the ghost of things do

i never asked you for something i knew you couldn't do
what i was asking for was just something you wouldn't do

i never saw that you really wanted me around enough for me to stay
you showed me all the things to make me go away

 

I write this from beyond

If my hands could
Touch
Your skin
Right now
And fly miles across
To you
It would
Drip
Down
like Honey
and Soft kisses
just to sweep
along
with
a sweet brush
From tips o' fingers
And softly soothe unto you
A hush
a whisper
a song
Of sweet melody
And
We would fall in love
and into
One another
Beyond skin
Beyond bone
Our Beating hearts
Could only feel
we you and me
both
together again
to fall
To form
Onto
into and in between
the loveliness
of loving you
you love me
as we fly past
and cry past
And die
at last we are Together
as we melt
Sweet kisses
And soft skin
And begin
Again
Like lovers
Do
Like me and you
words and time
the scent And song could never touch
us Like we have touched
One another
and Each others heart
and soul
Like no one else
ever
Again

wish you were beer -

you stammer on
and makes an excuse
that runs into a run on
into
another excuse
turned excuses
piled on
and on top of
more excuses
"excuse me for
being the asshole i am" you recite
"excuse me for not giving a shit
cause i felt sick or woke up grumpy or got drunk blah blah ya di da di dahhhh"
---- his yack is always the same stupid back
and i don't really care
i don't give a shit anymore 
drop it
leave it
kick it
trash it
dump it
and walk on by
you're done
i'm gone
it's dead
moving on 
go with
someone
better
instead
of
you
you don't even see the stupid you do

you wasted all the tries
you spit out all your lies

and you have no chance to make it back
or get it back again
...
ever again

you're too much
that i don't ever want to deal with

ever again

 

;)

i may be a light sleeper
but 

I'm a heavy dreamer

 

box # 2 will have to do - the serial ways of my ex

the people you know and the people who know you
most have reason to hate you
the few who forgive what you do
and the one or two who don't care
the three boxes you put people in

note to his current fuck (of the week? of the day? ha):
no matter how special he seems
no matter how special he seems to make you feel
you are not special and sooner or later you will end up in one of the three boxed listed above. whether you like it or not- whether you want it or not. it is not up to you. you have no say in this. you will be put inside one of his boxes just like all the rest. be prepared for it. get use to it now. or don't believe me and find out for yourself when it's already too late.

        

 

  

you mean more

with all the talk
i've had
a lot
and
a lot
of
men
that have passed my way....
most just names
of kinds
of love
and such
like stepping stones
all have touched me in some
kind of way
but few of those
i've known
have reached
me
like you-
deep
deeper
than i can say
and after one
or two
and more
of
broken hearts
and
broken days
just broken

i need someone like you.
after the cry
and the howl
and the taste of dirt
and the i don't knows
the worst of hurt
i want someone like you.
no name other than love
no place other than my heart
you are more to me than the lines between us
that we put around us
that we allow to be us
you are someone more
someone special
in my life
in my heart
in more
than just talk
that means more than
the talk
that life talks up
you mean more
and
fill me more
than
the way
the talk
and the fake
means
and fills up
in life 
and in my days
_______________________________________