bathroom floors and locked doors

chocolate covered pretzels
a bottle of cheap wine
and a pack of cigarettes
that's all i need
some nights
no sex
no boys
no company
except for my cats -
who keep scratching at my door
i spend much of my time
locked in small spaces
like bathrooms
bathrooms
are to me
like sucking thumbs
and security blankies 
safe
and comforting

10:38 pm flow

found myself
alone
but not
i guess sometimes
that's where i have to be
cause the brain and
the heart
don't always
go
right along with
that of others
so in sync
in sync out
i fall all about
this and that
is
and is not
where
it's at
what is it
what it is not
my thoughts
get caught
up in the
mix
i need a fix
cause i'm going down ;)
you don't have to call me
tonight
tomorrow
or ever
if you never
do anyways
you don't have to be around
cause then i know you won't won't on your own
your ghost is all
i've ever known
the only thing that's shown
is the
fade
out and in
again
i need a lot tonight
but not from you
not from anyone else
but me will do
i find comfort in the facts thrown at me
that i don't even care to hear
but you care to say
i know i'll miss it
and you someday

;)

i may be a light sleeper
but 

I'm a heavy dreamer

 

you mean more

with all the talk
i've had
a lot
and
a lot
of
men
that have passed my way....
most just names
of kinds
of love
and such
like stepping stones
all have touched me in some
kind of way
but few of those
i've known
have reached
me
like you-
deep
deeper
than i can say
and after one
or two
and more
of
broken hearts
and
broken days
just broken

i need someone like you.
after the cry
and the howl
and the taste of dirt
and the i don't knows
the worst of hurt
i want someone like you.
no name other than love
no place other than my heart
you are more to me than the lines between us
that we put around us
that we allow to be us
you are someone more
someone special
in my life
in my heart
in more
than just talk
that means more than
the talk
that life talks up
you mean more
and
fill me more
than
the way
the talk
and the fake
means
and fills up
in life 
and in my days
_______________________________________