hydrogen carbon and rust

soup hydrogen soup carbon 

truths scratched from the dirt 

rusting trucks 

die with years
in dry grass below

and with vultures above 

in waiting 

hungry like the old

hungry like the forgotten
waiting in line

for the dead

to come

waiting 

like we wait 

to die

bathroom floors and locked doors

chocolate covered pretzels
a bottle of cheap wine
and a pack of cigarettes
that's all i need
some nights
no sex
no boys
no company
except for my cats -
who keep scratching at my door
i spend much of my time
locked in small spaces
like bathrooms
bathrooms
are to me
like sucking thumbs
and security blankies 
safe
and comforting

i know it's nowhere

i tell myself
don’t hang on
there’s nothing left there
when you’re not
and chasing the dragon (s)
all up in smoke
smoked up my head
i imagine something greater than
i think you (we) ever were
running down my soul
and the soles of my shoes
when i will be a fade away someday soon to you
with nothing said
the idea of you was always so much better
inside my head
-kyoko