Monday, May 17, 2010

it's your problem now

you gotta parade your shit around..
you know i'm gonna see
all the pictures
all the posts
all the shit i wouldn't care about if it wasn't pushed in my face.
what's funny though is you look more like a man in drag now
you look like you're trying
wearing different clothes
too much makeup
over the top hair
you were pretty being you
and now you look used up
you don't even look like you
i don't envy that
i don't envy you at all
i know you try to impress him
i know you have become him
he has that way about him
you want to do everything that he does cause you think it's great
i don't want any of that
i can find my own way without him
i don't think you could
cause you don't know you
you didn't know you
and now you think you know you
now that he's around making more of you

he was not who i thought he was
and now you are the one who is lost in his haze
like i was years ago
i only wish you luck in future days when this wave you're riding fades
he's the master of saying the things you want to hear -
he will make say all the right things if there's something he wants from you
but it dies
like everything dies
but it dies cold
and empty
and you're left with everything
alone
while he's already moved on to the next
it's who he is
he's done this many times before
and it takes time to get yourself back to okay after someone like him
i'm just glad it's you now
and not me

Sunday, May 16, 2010

don't even

don't say the words
don't even tell me that you care
don't say that you love me
don't try to make me believe you
i don't want to hear you  anymore
you're not even there anymore
you're dead to me
the memory isn't even like a memory
i question if there ever was a time we were close
whatever we were or were not does not matter
when your ghost leaves such a bad feel
don't even try to make yourself believe you were the good guy
you tried
you failed
you don't know how much i hate that i wasted myself on someone so far from what

that wednesday

when i walked out on you
i walked out on you for good
no more of you being less than
or treating me less than
no more to be sold out
sold in for the instant fix
i don't want anything to do with you
after you left me this way
it's taken so long for me to get myself back to okay
just ok
there's pieces of me i'm still trying to glue
and you
come in and out of my head in pieces of nothing
nothing more
than a good fuck
that the best lies told by the greatest liar
you are the master story teller
who will always be hidden behind large tales
larger than life in the way you remember it
larger than life in the way you replay it
larger than life because you in real life are smaller than you would like to be
pages in a book of short stories
many stories that ended that Wednesday when i left your house
we ended that wednesday when you let me leave
we ended when you watched me cry
and left me with no reply
still wanna fuck?
you want anal sex?
fuck your heartless kind
i've learned my lesson now
and there's nothing that will ever lead me back to you
- there's always someone next in line to save you from the last one you've trashed
it makes me happy that you have lost that special place in my heart
i am happy that i know you are really like so many others
i'm happy that you can easily be replaced by bigger and better things
---
i guess when you start to miss me
there won't be anything i miss of you
i think of you now
only when someone else mentions your name
and even then i let those thoughts quickly pass on
stale and bitter
no good really came from our time
not the good that stays with me now
nor is there any good from you that stays with me in a life time.
i'm not sad
glad i walked out your door
that wednesday
glad i walked out your life
for the last time
i'm glad it's someone else you do it to
i'm glad that it's not me
blah you get the point
i'm happy now

Saturday, May 15, 2010

you ugly cunt

go back to where you cam from
go back to your shit town where you came from
and that shit state you ran away from
cause this is not your home.
you can fake it well but there's nothing real about you at all
you are just a shadow of others
you like what they like
you say what they say
you follow what you feel is cool
and makes you different but even still
you follow.
i'm tired of hiding
i'm sick of avoiding everything cause i don't want to hurt any more
i'm fed up with holding back what i really feel
just to not make a scene
you didn't give a shit about respecting my love
or me-
you have the one thing i love more than anything
 and you've always been a bitch underneath that smile
and the layers of makeup caked on your ugly fucked up face
if i see you i will make sure you get what you deserve
i want you to feel the pain that i felt
i want you to hurt
you can count on the fact that i will get you back
i'm not going to play nice ---
ha not anymore
i will see you one of these nights
sooner rather than later
i wanna see how bad ass you really are

Sunday, May 02, 2010

some people say ...

today is the day i got over you
i got over trying to make you see what you're not gonna see
i got over trying to hear the words you won't even say
i can't find you when you keep yourself hidden
i would've done anything and everything for you if you let me in
but you only let me in so much - and only sometimes
tonight was the reason
i hung up the phone
hung up the bullshit that i was taking from you
when you want me to care - and you're willing to let me in
i'll be there- if i can
if it's not too late
cause you're not gonna be a priority to me and to my heart anymore if you continue to be the way you've been.
you make it more complicated cause it's a way to avoid working on your real issues.
i hope you get through it -with or without me
but right now i'm gonna work on myself
i'm going to continue my life and be there to those who want me there and those who allow me to be there.
i'm done fighting for you.
i have no desire for you
this is a day i will remember cause i'm over you
for as long as you are the way you are now...
blah
i'm leaving
this broken heart i had behind..

Saturday, May 01, 2010

through the land and throught the water - i'm in love with you now go away

your words hang heavy
and repeat in my mind
you gave us a moment
that will burn us forever
in time -  we are skipping
forever in moments
of days left behind
forever we go
round in circles devine


move me in the water

move me in the sand
move me to field
move me to the land
when the light shines on me

far from you is where i'll be


it comes through silence
on city streets i survive
of nights in blue
years from now  
we come alive
forever

we come
alive
in moments we once knew
  forever in wild
we are wild

 inside fire 
my face you see 
alive
forever and
forever you will
 think of me























Who's the coolest person you know?

my step dad is pretty fucking cool

what song changed your life?

the strangest of the strange...

the strangest of the strange...
...i am

star loves the beatles too

star loves the beatles too
yeah i love the beatles too
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