i can't talk to you or see you anymore.

why do you want it to be this way?
do you like it where it is?
did you ever want more?
when i see you let it be
less than
what i once knew it could be
it hurst
it makes me sick
it makes me want to forget

you don't care what you're doing to it right now
cause it's still here
i'm still here
trying
even though you would like me to not say anything
and just allow us to die slowly
sigh
the only way for you to ever know what you do to the people who love you
is for you to lose
what you thought would always be there
for you no matter how many times
you wouldn't

the hardest thing for me to do
is to say goodbye to someone i truly loved
i never felt as strongly as i do
right now about having to
walk away
and leave you behind
 you won't appreciate me if i stay
you don't even know
what you're doing
to this
to us
right now
you don't even realize how special our love was
how much i loved you
you just kicked it down to it's place once it was down
you never helped it get back up
you don't see that right now
but you will
and for a little while at least it will haunt you
cause that's what the ghost of things do

i never asked you for something i knew you couldn't do
what i was asking for was just something you wouldn't do

i never saw that you really wanted me around enough for me to stay
you showed me all the things to make me go away

 

bathroom floors and locked doors

chocolate covered pretzels
a bottle of cheap wine
and a pack of cigarettes
that's all i need
some nights
no sex
no boys
no company
except for my cats -
who keep scratching at my door
i spend much of my time
locked in small spaces
like bathrooms
bathrooms
are to me
like sucking thumbs
and security blankies 
safe
and comforting

you're a walking abortion

daddy issues
mommy issues too
boo hoo you - stupid girl
whine and cry your alligator tears
tell everyone your sob story
that no one wants to hear
you're such a victim
you're always the victim
i've never met anyone as worthless as you
nobody loves you and you know it
not even you
whine
cry about that too
scream and shout
you got nothing worth talking about
you spit spat spit shit
and lies
spit 
spat
you fat
ugly
worthless brat
pop those pills
i hope it kills
you for good
cause you're already dead inside
you're a piece of shit
you do nothing with your life
or to make the world better
i hope you fucking die
---
nobody likes you
fatty
look around you have no friends of your own
gee i wonder why
ha
cause you're a no good person
and no one can stand to be around shit like you for too long

corinna law you should go do this world and everyone around you a favor and kill yourself. no one would miss you... what's there to miss?
a twofaced lying manipulative hater who back stabs everyone and talks a bunch of shit when you have no fucking right. you do nothing with your life cause you are nothing. just like your stupid worthless mom- if you can even call her a mother. go hold her hair back some more as she pukes all over your self worth. oh yeah you lost that years ago. if you're gonna act like a fucked up slut bitch cunt then expect to be treated like one. fucking baby.... you can't go running and telling on people when they fucking punch your ugly face in- cause you deserve it. actually you deserve much worse... and mark my words - you will get what's coming to you. you have enough people who can't wait to see you fucking go down and feel pain. but this time your mommy won't be able to fight your fights for you. coward. watch your fucking back you fat ugly cunt. trust me you're gonna wish you never fucked with all the people you fucked with. especially me. watch it--- when you least expect it bitch... when you least expect it. go do something with your pathetic life while you have the chance... stupid corinna no wonder everyone hates you and wants to punch you in your retarded looking fat face. ha...  get used to it you cunt.
 

I write this from beyond

If my hands could
Touch
Your skin
Right now
And fly miles across
To you
It would
Drip
Down
like Honey
and Soft kisses
just to sweep
along
with
a sweet brush
From tips o' fingers
And softly soothe unto you
A hush
a whisper
a song
Of sweet melody
And
We would fall in love
and into
One another
Beyond skin
Beyond bone
Our Beating hearts
Could only feel
we you and me
both
together again
to fall
To form
Onto
into and in between
the loveliness
of loving you
you love me
as we fly past
and cry past
And die
at last we are Together
as we melt
Sweet kisses
And soft skin
And begin
Again
Like lovers
Do
Like me and you
words and time
the scent And song could never touch
us Like we have touched
One another
and Each others heart
and soul
Like no one else
ever
Again

Tonight is warm

You are cold
Mean
And
Cold
I picked up a lot of bad habits from you
But the one thing I didn't pick up until tonight
Was the hate
That one has to have
When someone acts like you do
You're stuck up
And never gave love first
But you demanded it back
You said some things tonight
That made me stop caring
You choose to say such hateful things.
And now
I wonder why I kept on trying to be loving to you
You don't matter
This does not matter
We don't matter together we are not
Anymore
You always have your reasons
Well I got my reasons too
And I hope you feel
The way I do
And I hope someone you love
Is as cold and as mean as you
I really do
Cause you never tried to protect me
You didn't try to make anything better you only tried to get me to change
To be more like you
Well you aren't a good man sometimes.
I'd rather be with someone who is free to do and see whatever and whomever he pleases but is sweet and nice to me
Than to have you on your moral high horse who states how they do no wrong but doesn't care to listen to anyone else and is just angry and mean when he feels just.
Fuck that
And
Fuck you
After 7 years of believing I was the one with all the problems. I see that a lot of the problems have been you too
You should really change yourself before you try to change anyone else
You shouldn't really think about the fucked up things you say
Before you spit them in my face
Cause today was the day that it made me not give a shit about you anymore.
You can never take it back
And I'm glad.
You deserve to feel
What you will feel
Now that I am gone

10:38 pm flow

found myself
alone
but not
i guess sometimes
that's where i have to be
cause the brain and
the heart
don't always
go
right along with
that of others
so in sync
in sync out
i fall all about
this and that
is
and is not
where
it's at
what is it
what it is not
my thoughts
get caught
up in the
mix
i need a fix
cause i'm going down ;)
you don't have to call me
tonight
tomorrow
or ever
if you never
do anyways
you don't have to be around
cause then i know you won't won't on your own
your ghost is all
i've ever known
the only thing that's shown
is the
fade
out and in
again
i need a lot tonight
but not from you
not from anyone else
but me will do
i find comfort in the facts thrown at me
that i don't even care to hear
but you care to say
i know i'll miss it
and you someday

When one door closes another one opens. :) (cheesy)

He makes me smile.
He has soft skin
And a nice face
A really nice face
All his other parts are really nice too
;)
He's gentle But strong
He makes me feel safe
He's not afraid to say how he feels
Or show how he feels
And he makes me laugh
And right now I like that
And appreciate that
More than ever before