i don't know what i would do without my distractions

had to leave

had to get out of the head i was in

and the only place to go

was back

to the start

back home

go home

home to me

wherever that may be

saw a friend

and throughout the day - a few more

distractions keep me alive

in a crowded room

i found you again

i saw you again

tonight

and when other things

i once knew

fade and die

all around me

your face in a room of many

fills the space

another left empty

and that

tonight

 is all

i need to get by.

it makes the others die

while i am distracted by something else

and that something else

right now

is

you.

Nothing left

How little you try to keep me around
truth is the only time you really try is when I'm gone and can't be found.
This time I won't say the same thing to you... I won't tell you how I feel. I know nothing I say will make you change or make you see...
the way you are is killing me.
You don't give even an inch where it helps. You just stand in the same place and never budge. always your way which now I see is no way -not for me
I'm leaving you there
Nowhere
with nothing more
And nothing left

free

you can remember why you liked me when i'm gone.
you can forget about me right in the now
when it's been like this for now and many days
but i will take you as you are and as you have been
i will take you as far away as you remain
i will let  you be you
as you i let you pass on by me
i will sit back and watch you
but from now i remain free
from effort and energy wasted
from expectations that left me
spent down to pennies
trying to keep up in a material world
trying to keep up
trying to do something
trying to be
something
anything
other than be
the way we will
i've stopped trying
i've stopped buying
i've stopped crying
i've stopped dying
i've been lying to myself
to be any other
is not the way
now i see
now
i will just sit under the sun
and not be shaken
or rattled or changed by you
or anything that can't be undone
accept change comes
as a part of the cycle
and to know but never know when
is just a part of life.
i do not fight
i do not force
i can only see and allow it to  be
what it is
whatever it is
and myself too
for you are who you are
and i am who i am
i am nothing
if that helps
you
let
sleeping dogs lie
if that helps
 you
let what is already dying die
and remember the past is just a goodbye
to let go is the only way
we shall
 live again

a ....in the grass

you say some shit
that brings out the ugly in you
to me/?
for what?
to hurt me?
cause you think you know me
or you feel like you do
i want spit your venom
right back at you
right in your face
and leave you to rot in pain
cause it seems like you have no problem doing that
to begin with

i'm glad i see your ugly
now
before
i really care enough to give it back
have a good fucking life

hanging from a tree

hope

is 

no good

for me 

to feel 

or to have

in anything i really want

if i want something

i have to not want it 

to get it

and then i don't want it anymore

so what's the point?

excitement of love 

dies 

quicker 

than 

i am...

slowly

very slowly

fading

and dying 

not fast enough

to not feel 

any of the pain

that i feel

from having hope 

and not having you

New item in my etsy shop

Vintage Table Lighter
Www.etsy.com/shop/missymisskyoko

Busted my finger

Busted my finger today
And I don't want you anymore
I saw the truth
And the truth is
That you are somewhere else...
But not with me
Even if there's no one else
You are not and have never been with me