hydrogen carbon and rust

soup hydrogen soup carbon 

truths scratched from the dirt 

rusting trucks 

die with years
in dry grass below

and with vultures above 

in waiting 

hungry like the old

hungry like the forgotten
waiting in line

for the dead

to come

waiting 

like we wait 

to die

orange big muff juice

the End
end
end
and everyone is waiting here for you
you
you
fight a fight that never ends
and
Me,
I've said enough
and the
One who bleeds out
is the one
I reach for
I reach For you in
 i want to kiss your venom stained mouth
did you ever
Realize
the life I see
is your Face
is a sin
the truth lies there
Now who's there with me now
when all we want
Is what's real
until it's everything I had
i have no more
It's not like this
just like this
just like
the end
the end
end
end
just like You
do you
want
I just want
it to shut up
blisters on
So pissed off
you're not alone
here
not At all
you would rather feel
pain than nothing
at all
walking with a blistered soul
i can't wash away those years
just walking around I hear
You talk about your life
I wish that was my own
I try to get in
but i'm Passed over looked over
never
nothing
no
not nobody
no
No
NO
I won't
let them make you sorry
a stranger strange
is who i am
i am everything i hide
everything i am
is a lie
from all the
Way
today
just fell apart like
everything
and nothing
right
it's me
who never gives up
the never ending fight
against myself
i am my own bad
all in my head
and i will turn
my own back on me
you fight to be you
and i fight to hide what is me
But it's too little, too far to throw
it all away
away
far away
maybe some other day
you can have
you can use
if you want
if you need
if you wish
to find
me

the mess we are

Face and I said wrong
you comfortable liar you're such
A comfortable liar
you're such a mess
Why would I wanna be like you
I cannot
Control
the mess  we are
we are in,
if I
what if i
What if
what if
what you want
i want you to
See I'm not the only one who
Would carry on
this
is how
it's going to be
The one maybe
I'm the one who
Would carry on
this
far away
in my way
You're wrong
if you feel
any magic to
  back off
back down
I always clean your fucking mess and
Leave no trace
no evidence
I am letting
You know
you stand reborn
before us all
so glad
To see you
again
I would die, to mold
it new
and i am now caught up in
this hell
so don't fake
it
This is
don't remember,
i remember when this was
my
Life
  caught in the rewind
caught in the capture
of ridicule
i'm the fool
to everyone
I'm
Tired of paying
and playing
a game
that will end always the same
Silence
just gets in
from the back
from the fold
the oldest story ever told
Burn like the way
I'm wired
so could you maybe
Lend a hand
to help a drowning man
whose eyes of better
got stuck in clouds
Feelings all right
but not right now
not this time
It's over it's over, this is
How, you, steered it
as bad
as you feared it
as bad as
you always wanted it to be
and I need is serenity
I don't need you
I Stumble then I crawl
with you around
you could be
the death of me
Just like you
do it all for You
you know this world is not for me
and I don't feel
everything's alright
but she was always
better at this game than me ...

i lied...

i let you excuse me
of

having any taste

sometimes you have to wallow in your own shit
before you realize
what you are now
is shit
you are what you produce


there's only two types of
expression (art music creation etc.)

good
and
bad

everything
 in between
doesn't matter
if it doesn't
last


if it doesn't hold
if it doesn't stay
true
or inside your heart or brain
somewhere
and make you
feel something
then it doesn't fucking matter

lie witness news at Coachella - hahaha super funny

this is ridiculous and hilarious .... stop trying to be cool kids and start being nerdy... at least you'll know what the fuck you're talking about-
you don't have to lie to kick it

Let it bleed, watch it burn, move on

Hanging on my wall

Is a picture

Of a painting

I did

When we first met. 

I saw it today

In a different way

And I cried 

After when I was done crying 

I took the picture off my wall 

And set it on fire 

Along with a few other reminders 

Of something I don't need to remember anymore 

It's gone now

Just like you. 

Shortly after I painted something new for someone else. 

It's now haging on my wall ;)

 

tomorrow never comes until it's too late

green painted paper lanterns
a dark stale smoke filled room
sounds of noise through music
and music through noise
muffled through the doors
and walls
and coverings
but it still comes through
will i come through
this hell i'm in
my heart hurts
the child
the adult
the soul
hurts
beyond body
and skin
and flesh and bone
tonight i sing my songs again
i play the game
and pretend
i'm sick of pretending
there's no use in pretending
anymore
i am done
the past won't feel me
cause it doesn't exist anymore
and along with that
i go