So if this is the end

Why does it feel so much like the end? The world.
Yes the world as we know it

something stupid about something stupid

i got nothing
everything i got that means a lot
gets shot
down and back at me....
you don't even see
do you want to feel how it feels?
i don't even think
that you think
that you even hurt me
 but you hurt me
----
it's as simple as this
if you wanted my love
and you wanted me
you would show me love
you would have me
if you wanted it to be right
if you really wanted it to be good

then why would you fight
me
and fight my love
you wouldn't.

you can make excuses but the biggest excuse
is you 

if you loved me
i would see it
i would feel it
i would have it
and i wouldn't feel bad
like i do
whenever i am around you

i really wanted it
before it was
what it is
now

i know you're not there
you
have always
not be there

some
things
you
can
never
ever
repair
once broken


.... and that

i am.....
 

;)

i may be a light sleeper
but 

I'm a heavy dreamer

 

just a thought

you say such funny things
you don't want to give me the wrong idea
???
you don't want to break my heart
?
nothing against you-
but you can't break a heart that you don't have
no offense
if anything
i would watch out for your own heart
cause
i creep in
maybe slow
you won't even know
it until
one day you do
but i'll be gone
i'm more likely to break your heart
than you are with mine

mine is already broken
damaged goods
beyond repair???

the more i talk 
the less and less
i care

 

sometimes it gets so lonely

sometimes it gets so lonely
i think
i
could
very well
disappear
but then that would be
too easy
and
too comforting
---
maybe tonight
i needed you
more
than
you
know
-
maybe more than you're willing to give
and if it's more than you're willing to give
then you
are
NOT
the one for me
right now

at this moment
i could
cry my
insides out
and pour myself all
over the ground
you walk on
and you wouldn't even notice

to be lonely
in a crowded house
 to be selfish
for once
don't fall in love with me
i'll only disappoint

 

home is where the blah blah blah blah

i can't stay here
this is not
fun
this is not
love
this is not
good
this is like grade school
first day
kind of shit
and people
are hard to
really know
people are hard
to be with
to be around
makes me feel a little sick to my stomach
why do we have to make each other feel
so
small
and unimportant
?????
maybe to make
ourselves feel better
---
the only thing i want
is to feel
like i belong
like i'm at home
and this
is not
that

how old you are is not how old you are

i'm 31 years old (and young) today
december 5th
walt disney
little richard
me

ten years ago i spent this day
at hooters
ordering a pitcher of beer
just because i could
then i went to the sex shop down the street
cause i was horny
and after your first alcoholic beverage
in public
legally
makes a just-turned 21 year old
HORNY

that was then
and then hasn't changed much to now

happy mother fuckin' (literally why we celebrate this god damn day for me anyways) birthday ME

happy 31st

age means everything
and nothing
all at once

happy birthday k

you know less now
and were so much older when you were 5