i have a funny way of haunting you in the later years

so go ahead and use me
or try to anyways
treat me like i'm a disposable fuck
have me over
then kick me out
say i talk to much
you talk to much too
it will only hurt me for a second
but i know how it always works
i leave it alone
i'm good at leaving it
alone
and they always call me years later
going through it
or whatever
and wish they had done something a little different
maybe treated me kind
something of the sort
but i don't care
i'm three steps ahead
and so far from you
you can only remember
the touch of my skin

arouse me...

Passion
pas⋅sion [pash-uhn]
–noun
1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
3. strong sexual desire; lust.
Mystery
mys·ter·y [mis-tuh-ree, -tree]
-noun
1. One that is not fully understood or that baffles or eludes the understanding; an enigma
2. One whose identity is unknown and who arouses curiosity
3. A mysterious character or quality
Intrigue
in⋅trigue [in-treeg]
-verb
1. to arouse the curiosity or interest of by unusual, new, or otherwise fascinating or compelling qualities; appeal strongly to; captivate: The plan intrigues me, but I wonder if it will work.
2. to achieve or earn by appealing to another’s curiosity, fancy, or interest: to intrigue one’s way into another’s notice.
3. to entangle

this is the end

i can see that this time there is no return
and everything that ever was
is leaving
is far gone
is just a stranger
like before

you won't see me any more
and i won't see you
and i'm glad-
cause i wasn't me
anymore
with you

one step ahead

well i'm five -
sometimes ahead sometimes behind
;)
took a break from making art to post this
i just might delete it by the time the morning comes (and that means sunshine)
okay back to art
back to ignoring my phone and friends
 and cats :(
(sad face is for the cats part)

at least I got art... what about you ?

art turns me on. more than you do.

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you nag me like my mother

your text messages are lame
don't even pretend like we're okay
like you even care
cause i could care less
when it comes to the things you want to bitch about
i got no reason
to want to keep you around
or to want to talk to you
cause you don't talk you nag
and spit a mouth full of shit
that makes my ears gag
i avoid
and turn to another
i avoid
you nag
like my
mother
 and who the fuck would want that?

i waited for you but you never came

weeping willows
kiss the shadows of my static cling
in night softness you enter
but only in my mind
i can feel you in my heart
it's death
it's a slow death
to have thoughts of you
enter me
without any sign
without even a warning
i guess the warning was you
i should have known that
many years ago when i first let myself into you
and now i only know you in between the lines
that are written
in a message you send me
whenever you fucking feel like
sending me a little reminder
which speaks volumes
even without your voice
it's a slow death
and you know what you're doing
cause you are master of plans
you do not leave your room
you do not leave yourself
without rehearsing
what you
you've decided to be for that day
or for that person
did i ever really know you at all?
darkness stays hidden
i like things that hide
cause i'm the master of the great escape
ongoing forever flowing
on
i try not to stay in one place
for too long
the right exit always leaves you
a sweet memory in the minds of people you never really knew
but they thought they knew you
with the roots  of another line beneath me
and it's years that stretch on above me
in the darkness of the night
where i am with myself alone
i see the you and i are more alike
that i'd like to admit
we keep distance and desire as a game
we like to play
i kiss the air
for that is the closest i'll ever get to you
that is the closest i've ever gotten
somewhere in the air
and in the wind
you are and you are not
 there
and that is the one truth i can keep with me
when everything else is made to be left behind