i did what i had to do

whatever gets you through the night
it's alright
it's alright

the little things aren't so little

tonight it's pretty clear
who really cares 
and who does not...
i'm sitting across from him
as i write this
in his room
as he paints
and this is exactly where i want to be
this means more to me
than most of the last three years have
cause i look at who's here with me
and that's all that matters
 
it's the smallest things sometimes that fill that empty space in your heart full of love
i love this
right now
right here
and everything else 
doesn't matter
anymore


i needed this tonight
i needed to see what was out there
i needed to something to make me feel good again
i needed something that would make me walk away for good...



:)


i just realized i've wasted the last 3 years of my life
on someone who isn't very loving, who isn't ever there when it really matters, and who doesn't really care to treat me like he wants to keep me around. all he does is say the same thing over and over but he doesn't SHOW it. he's never shown it until he thinks he's losing me. and now he has. i've been trying to work with someone who doesn't work with me at all...
he makes sure to tell me a bunch of crap about love and bullshit but look at who's here with me now. not him... he's never there when he should be if he wanted to make this better - he wouldn't have left it the way he did. i don't love him anymore. i don't like him. someone else can have him. see how long they put up with his stupid idiotic bullshit excuses and minimal effort. all that matters to him is him and i have no desire to be with someone as selfish and unloving.