ok

i see no solution
and i feel
like
everything is leaving
me
anyways

i can't do this
day in and day out
it hurts my heart too much
it makes me less than
a person
and i don't even care to keep trying to be one now

i leave it
like it's been left before

it's been fun writing this blog
but it's filled with a bunch of shit that reminds me
that this is not where i belong

take care

i'm bleeding all over my computer right now

the man who gives advice
yet hides behind a mask
or hides behind a computer screen
hides for a reason
an asshole shouldn't give advice on love or meeting girls
we have enough assholes
you're just another face in the crowd
of LAME

assholes in los angeles
are usually not from los angeles
and are originally from
some other state
they give LA a bad name
go take your shit
back home where
you belong

you're a liar

lies
that make you
a spineless
little
boy
too scared to face
me
too weak to say what's really going on
no balls
to say the truth
stammer a bunch of bullshit
until that's all that you are
you don't have the guts to be somebody
you're full of shit
and you play me for a fucking fool
when you're the one who's a tool
i know you're a liar
that's why you like to put it on me
but you're the liar
with no backbone to hold you up
if everyone else holding you up let's go
you wouldn't last a day
be a man
not a pussy
be somebody worth giving a shit about
be someone better
than what you are right now
cause right now
you make me want to vomit
at the sound of your voice
stammering out stupid excuses and lies
to cover up
the things you're too afraid to stand up for in public
yet in private behind closed doors still do
you don't "love" me if you're doing shit that you know you wouldn't like someone to do to you
you make me want to die
cause you won't die
in my life
you keep fucking with me
and showing up
and saying you're sorry
and saying you love me
then doing whatever you want
then ignoring me
then calling me crazy
then asking me over
then fucking me
the using me
then tossing me to the side
then making some excuse as to why you can't be in my life
then ignoring me to the point where i start to move on
then finding me
then hunting me down
only to repeat over and over again
you won't leave me alone
and you take advantage of the fact that i love you
i only let you back in my life so many times cause i loved you
but now
you're fucked
and fucked alone
cause i don't care
how much you cry and try
after it's too late
you make up your mind
to be a dickhead when i needed you
when i was hurting
so you better be able to take what you dish out
cause caring about you
was a waste of time
really...
you are a waste of time
this is the beginning of my life without bullshit like you getting in the way
 

#2 just shave your head already

  comb-overs, how sad
that man looks like a zebra
sir, your head is striped

#1 taste that fucker? my bitter bite

Miserable fiend
Where have you taken my hope?
I really hate you.

stale cigrettes and coffee

infecting whole groups
marches the path to change
something new to discover
please keep it that way
we roar in life
listen to it hum
rejected thoughts and feelings
that change into hard ways
down a path to the great divide
terrorists, bad friends
they always offer
to give lessons
sometimes hidden behind 
a shadow of doubt or dislike
stale cigarettes and coffee
paint a muted color picture
stuck in static 
a shaken moment
in a dull late afternoon
we are the faded faces  
that refrain 
from real
restricted rehearsed removed
ready to drown
ready to strangle life 
ready to choke  heart
endless insomnia
within empty chambers
my eyeballs bleed
we fly around 
til one comes out
chasing the rabbit 
reminds me of something else
Cosmic mystery
Unknowable enigma
blood stains on the carpet
junk emerges from its tin
it's bad medicine
that will save us all
a croaking ghost -
a skeleton dreams of light -
supernatural, dark
a morning eye -
a skeleton may know of death -
dawn, dawn
Under the cover of death 
the spirits speak, 
In the streets of words 
the leaves sleep, 
Under the cover of desire 
the leaves turn,  
Beneath the surface of longing 
the memories breathe,  
On the bed 
of imagination 
the poets mourn,  
Beyond this moment 
of longing  
dreamers speak,  
In the dreams of time
 the waves vanish, 
In the moonless darkness of Winter
 where young ones wander, 
In the air of tears 
the insects fade
Frozen Word taunts me
No escaping this Window
How will I write now?  
how will i write now?

 

death don't seem so bad

cornered
cut off
cut down
c u
never again
whatever gets you through the night
whatever gets your through this life
whatever until
every thing is used up
everything has been done and
tried
and used before
and your options
well there ain't no more
pushed up against the wall
no one to break your fall
this time
you're
i'm fucked
we're fucked for good

sometimes
it's time
to put up the white flag
surrender
throw up  your hands
throw in the towel
step down
step aside
retire
resign
fold

sometimes the best thing to do is to
give up

i don't have anything else to write
you have made me

this way