i'm in the middle of your picture -lying in the leaves

fluff

you say that i am the same old
bad you'd like to think i am
you'd like to blame
i am the same to you
when you still treat me like shit
oh !
it devistates me
it breaks me for a moment
but then i know
that you like to put it all on me
when you are just the same
when you do not want to change
you have lost me
tonight
your excuses have run dry
you have run cold
you are fluff
just fluff
like so many know you are
like so many see you to be
like i know and see
you to be
i am done with pretending that you are something more
and better
and worth
holding on to
this is where i am
this is where you have put me
accept it now
cause before long
you won't even know me around at all
i am happy for that
i am happy
you can't do this to me ANYMORE
anymore
anymore
any
more
no
no
more
hahahaha
fluff
puff
rough
should be ruff
ha
stuff
just stuff
is all it is
the past is just a goodbye
remember that tonight
(i say to myself)
:)
the past is just a goodbye.
goodbye

gone and buried in a little plastic body bag

i got a little baggie in my pocket
down my pants
in my bra
ha!
bring me up 
and then
bring me down
just the way
he did
like i've always done
to myself
ha
you
me
dirty
flirty
with disaster
i do not write
you right me all wrong
twirl me up a whirlwind
of bad
i am
shit
in a baggie
of chemical funk
the plastic me
i keep in a trunk
to come up on
and come down
in defeat
i don't want you to respond
i know you never do
you are the never
and the no
i rest easy upon
mister new replaces mister man
replaces something else and so on
replaces mr man
come over me now new
this is what i have become
this is what i need

____________________________________--


 




















   

two eyes staring cold in silence - we fade to grey

i don't think about you very much
when i do it's usually a reminder of how bad our relationship was
cause it was
last night was the first time in months where thinking about you and us made me sad
i was thinking about the magic and the good feelings we had between us -
i was holding on to only particles
the little itsy bitsy broken pieces of good we had
that now feels cheap. even if it felt good and true to me then - knowing how you are and how you've been to me makes it all seem false now.
holding on to anything that has to do with you - is a waste of time now
cause keeping me it's not important to you 
and keeping you is definitely not important to me 
there's no need to even say goodbye this time
it's spent
it's dull
it's juiced
it's faded away past recognition 
it's dead
and i don't care anymore


______________________________________________________


       

i won't let you in

not this time

i can't 

not anymore

i am scared of what being close to you

will do to me

i am scared

of you

i keep you a distance away from my heart

and my love

you won't get inside this time

many times i let you in 

you had me

you had me and you trashed me

not once

not twice

more times than i can count

more times than i can forget

more times 

now no more

- you want in again

but i keep you where you don't matter much

i keep you where you belong - and that place is not with me

i can't love you like i did

i won't ever love you like that again

it's too late 

i won't ever let you in again 

I TOLD YOU WHEN I CAME I WAS A STRANGER

 

 

i hear your voice - calling my name

i was good
i was so good
now i don't know
why?
why do i hear you
why do i hear you now?
i hear you calling
calling me
calling my name
calling me now...
close to writing
close to writing you
i almost did
i had to stop
i couldn't
i couldn't hear your voice
i couldn't speak your name
i couldn't think
i couldn't have you think
i didn't want to have anything to do with you
i didn't want any part
haunting
lingering
kissing
shadowing
dangling

if you come i'll listen
i'll come
if you're there
i'll be
there...
but you've gone
and i know
i feel it gone
somehow
i know
it's gone
but
lately i wish it would return
lately
i wish
it was here
again
don't be a stranger
to me
don't be sometone
i can't really remember
don't be something i soon will forget


please
i miss you
i almost wrote you tonight
almost
in drunken breathe
but not false words

i miss your good
i miss your love
if only that were what was
i love you if that were it
it
love
was
good
it
was
yes
i hear you
your voice
calling my name
better call it now
or don't
or else
it may be gone
it will be
gone
please call
or write
or forever
ever
for
we
will
be
gone...