what am i to you? seriously?

what am i to you?
looking around
i see
everyone -is - something
to you...
or has been
to you -
at some time or another-
and i don't want to be
somewhere on your list of many
i don't want to be
mixed up in the masses
i don't want to be
one of the ones lost between the pages
lost between the lines
lost somewhere between the in between days
i don't want to be just a name or face
if i can't be the one
i'd rather just say fare thee well-
and think of it as just another slip
another slip up
i need to clean up
another bad mark
to mark down in my book
it was fine while it lasted
less fine thinking that i mean nothing to you
-good sex if anything
i'd rather just leave you with all your others
the new mornings
of a new dawn
i'd rather leave you
and forget
the memory of us -
and all the secret nights
hidden shadows
i'd rather forget-
the memory of you and i
must leave
so i can move on
and take it as a lesson learned
c'est la vie---

silly

i talk a lot of shit
cause i can
and i will
cause i'm right
and i'm smarter and i been through it and i'm right and smarter
and you are a silly little thing
so clueless you doing what you do because you think it's the right thing to do.
the difference between me and you
is i know more
and things are what they are
get lost as long as you can get yourself back since i know where i stand i know where to land

it's what you do

i'm a whore

i'm a bitch

i'm a taker

i'm a faker-

i'm a liar

i'm addicted

i'm a loser

i'm a user.

i'm a pig

i'm a waste
i'm a fool
i'm a tool.

i'm a monster
i'm a cunt
i'm a flake
i'm a big mistake.
i'm a leech
i'm a fUck
i'm a sinner
i'm a game
i'm a shame
i'm a slut
i'm a loner
i'm a pain
i'm a soul stripper
i'm a day tripper
i'm a spare tire
i'm a one night stand
i'm a nobody
that you really hate...
but LOVE to use.

have some soul would ya please?

please people-
have some fucking soul man
don't be afraid to go out there and get what you fucking want
take what you love
love what loves you
but don't get lost in the things in life
that seem too good
too good
too true
too good to be true?
too anything
things change
people change
and it never is what it was
or what you want
or what you think you need
fuck searching for the "perfect one"
who doesn't exist as perfectly as you'd like
shit... stop searching for the one period
it's all possible
but don't expect it to save you
or fix you
or make you happy
don't expect anyone to be able to control that
you find good people . who are what they are
human
but honest, trustworthy and loyal
and you stop thinking about
all the things you don't have
and stop thinking so much about
something that was made up in your own head- many years ago - that gave you some kind of hope- that gave you some kind of way to deal
even if it was unhealthy
stop looking
stop worrying
stop pretending
stop wasting
the time is now
you are there
i am here
and it doesn't last forever

yuck
FUCK- THE ONE

who reads this shit?

don't get too lost in all i say-cause at the time i really felt that way----

i get fucked over
by you
and i love it
to hate it
to love it
to hate YOU
.FUCK!
can't stand you
and your (mom)ha...
FUCKED UP SHIT.
fuck yeah i'm angry
fuck yeah i like it!
i love to feel all turned
upSiDe Down
love to feel all turned
upSIDE round...
LOVE to feel it when i hit the ground
love the feeling
from lost to found
love to lose me in the sound
feel it
take it
shake it
make it
even break it!
feel it up baby
it's the only thing to feed
it's the only thing i really need
sigh*
i want to scratch your fucking eyes out
i hate your pretty face

blood veins burst my bloody eyes

itchy
sticky
runny
eye...
wet -dry
- wet- dry

cat hair
and dust
cat hair
and rust
in the air
everywhere

written words
write shit
right now
writing
now i don't know how
shit shit shit piss piss piss piss
i need a cigarette
oh yeah
i got goo on my hands
and lust in my heart
ready for another
THE NEXT!...
to rip me apart

she could steal, but she could not rob

you get what you want
but they don't really want you
and
in
the
end
it will be you
washed up
used up
used everyone
/everything up
old
wrinkled
with a tally of millions
you keep track of on the wall
a reminder of the only good you've ever felt about yourself
when you had a pretty face you could push on people
just so they would be around you
even though you have nothing real and no one real and nobody by your side
you were born with a silver spoon handed to you
but it didn't make you a person of worth.
born this way
die this way.


you are the hopeless type that will never change