ten years

there is no one 
now

i feel the space 
in the same clutter 
i've carried around for years
in a different place
but i feel the missing
i feel the shadows of 
the strangers i use to know
all i have 
are just some jumbled memories
all in pieces
fall in pieces

pieces in my mind
comes out of darkness
sometimes from the music
sometimes in a smell
i can remember pieces of the past
puts me right back to where i was at that moment
only for a moment  

only for a feeling 
associations remain

in bits of my life then 
now 
long gone


feels so long ago

went by so fast
now i am left with the ghost
of things 
of time
and the feelings that linger
some things i long for
some things i wish never to return

some things i wish never went away
some things i regret
i didn't know then
i know less now
and who i am changes more
the more time passes

i am alone again
alone now with years
and memories
that make me feel more alone than ever
i long for the love
i let go
i wasn't ready for

i long for the love 
that i let die
only now can i see how careless i was

and it makes me sad
when i think of all the things that are gone
some gone for good
people that have left me
people that have left the world
if i only knew then
how special it all was
if i only knew then
what i had...
---  maybe

in days to come 
i will know what i have
when i have it

people are careless
i see how careless i am


after it's gone 
i see how careless i've been


the last ten years of my life

was a whole other life time
the last ten years 
now come to its end



where i came from
where i've been is so far from me now
it is time to start a new

where i'm going? 

i won't know until i get there
sometimes i only know once i've gone 

alone with the pieces 
waiting around the corner


for something to begin again