Piss on u

fuxk

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i wanna fuck the world 

and time is on my side

ha

you piss on everything 

that you don't like about me

and piss me off 

the thought of you and me 

just does't work in my mind

and i don't mind 

cause my mind doesn't work anymore 

either

something i wrote a long time ago

we meet secretly
you like it better that way
i don't like it much now
but that's the only way i get  to see you
that's the only time
i'm allowed to have
with you
and i know you go home to her
every night you go home to her
i know you share your life with her
but even still
for so very long
i always felt
like your heart belonged to me
cause i left my heart with you
but that's a foolish thought
and i'm a fool for believing that for so long
i wrapped myself around the maybes
and strapped myself to the someday
we will be together again
we were meant to be together again

i lose myself in the few moments
i have with you
and the sweetness of your tongue
and the taste of your sweat
and your smell is something hard to forget
but i'm a fool for believing all of that

after yesterday
and something you said
got into my head
and knocked me back to where i should be
just your friend
i love you
but i'm not in love with you anymore
cause she's the one
you have time for
and if even just for right now
she's the one for now
while you have time
but i'm not in love with your shadow
i'm not in love with your ghost
i've been chasing the fade as we turn to grey
i'm not in love with you in love with somebody else

yesterday
i got the truth

i love you always
but she is the one
(for(ever) now
if she makes you happy
then i'm happy
and i'm happy i'm not in love
with you anymore

"somebody i used to know" by elliott smith

I had tender feelings that you made hard
But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred
So when I go home I'll be happy to go
You're just somebody that I used to know
You don't need my help anymore
It's all now to you, there ain't no before
Now that you're big enough to run your own show
You're just somebody that I used to know
I watched you deal in a dying day
And throw the living past away
So you can be sure that you're in control
You're just somebody that I used to know
I know you don't think you did me wrong
And I can't stay this way for long
Keeping ahold of what you just let go
You're just somebody that I used to know

PLEASE JUST GO AWAY

he's a 33 year old child

that i don't want 

i don't need

tonight 

made me see everything he really is 

and it's everything i really hate.

tonight 

i rid myself of him 

once and for good-

he's a fool 

and you can't teach a fool

something he doesn't want to learn

he will behave like a fool

he will drink and be a drunk

until the day 

he wants to change himself for himself

until then

he will continue to be 

the way he's always been 

but i won't take your calls tomorrow

i won't answer 

i won't reply

i won't respond to your bullshit anymore

i won't acknowledge your existence after this

giving you the time of day

letting you back in my life

ONLY MAKES YOU DO IT MORE

like a spoiled child

spoiled rotten

rot

away 

alone.

i'm sick of you and your bullshit

i'm sick of your stammer

i'm sick of your drunk drool spit spatting all over my life

grow up

be accountable for your actions

don't bother me after you fucked up

i'm not with you anymore 

your actions have consequences 

DEAL

WITH 

IT!

I SHAKE YOU OFF 

i spit you out

i rid myself 

....of

you

once and for all

today...

don't feel like being much of a person

don't feel like getting out of bed

or answering my phone

...

is there somebody 

out there

????

that 

will understand me 

... finally???

rejected 

neglected

...

sometimes

i just want to 

go away

new years resolution -

resolution
solution
evolution
evolve
-ve
evol
turned around is
love
--------------
i would like this year to be about finding my way
without going about it the hard way first
maybe that's where i've been wrong
maybe i've been going about it the easy way
the way that's easiest to me
which is to fight
and to yell
and to scream
and to knock myself and everyone around me down
maybe the hard way is to stay calm
and not react
to not let everything or everyone get the better of me

just remember
breathe
and refrain
and love

hell is empty and all the devils are here