i use to know you - where did you go?

tonight
i lost myself
inside the four corners
of my tiny bathroom
locked the door
fell to the floor
and cried
over you.

i sat there
on the floor
between the toilet
and the tub
and cried my fucking eyes out
like never before
and quite possibly never again
our love is gone
and the realization of that
for some reason
at that moment
hit me
in the sickest
most violent
way-
i don't think i've ever
heard a voice
so loud and so clear
went straight to my heart and straight to my head
at the exact same time
and i knew
what i knew was more honest
than words
even more honest than my own self
and i knew
that it was over
i knew that our love
was not
and would never be enough
to make us fall in love again

i felt like a child
alone and afraid
inside myself
inside my bathroom
locked away from whatever fear i felt was out there
whatever i felt
i was
afraid
the truth was out
now
my love
was gone
the love
i was so in love with
was gone