night

i sat down to write a poem
but the moonlight shining in through my window
pulled me in
blinded me
and what i wanted to write
i didn't feel anymore
the night and moonlight made it pass
into the past

where it belongs

you are nobody

i'm not too upset tonight not this time this is just another fucked up reminder - another repeat replay reprise
of the same old same old
you
you are not there
you are not here
you are not
you're not with me when i need you
when i need care.
same old same old bullshit
shit pile up
shit on what i feel and what i'm going through
as serious as it is to me
it ain't anything to you
mr. cool
mister "i'm so above it all"
mr. mister no man man
it is my mistake for thinking you would be better
it is my mistake for thinking it would change
or you might change ---
you are nothing i need
you are nobody i want
you are a waste of my time
you don't care
you don't make up for all you do wrong
you don't make up for all you don't do at all
you don't show me anything
worth thinking you are worth keeping
this time don't act stupid
don't play dumb
don't even wonder why i'm not around
(like you don't know)
don't cry and try -
when i'm moving on
you only cry and try -
when it's too late
this time the time is over
our time is gone
time and time again
you prove to be
no one
nobody
not nothing to me

my cab ride away from you

i love you with all my heart
but you push
and when there's a push
there's a play-
i won't call you tomorrow
or the next
--
you don't even know why i'm upset
you don't even understand what you do that makes me upset
ha.... maybe you do
whatever it is -
you don't know when to stop
you didn't stop tonight
you push and push and push
and wonder why it plays out the way it does

--
i am in love with you
but i do not like the part of you that is careless with love
-now it is 6:46
and time is running out
maybe someday you will grow up too
but i'm not going to hold my breath waiting for that day to come
i can no longer wait for you

a touch of something
so far from me
it does not belong to me
where do i even belong?
why does everything feel so wrong
i'm losing myself in the shame
only the losing part stays the same
this life i'm living
is bleeding me
is leading me
far away
so far down in my mind
so far away
i can no longer feel my heart
the new is dead

the damage done

this house is the place where the spiders collect
where the silverfish breed in dust
cloud cakes cloud over
the build up builds up
and takes over
and the floor sticks to your feet
the out leaks in
through the broken and busted
it sneaks in through the many cracks and holes
thicky sticky icky
sicky
sick from junk
you can feel the funk
you can feel the clams
takes on like leeches
you can taste the salt
as it leaves you dry
one more layer of yuck over the last layer of yuck
drip drop drip drop
drip drip drip
drain drain drain
chicken- off with your head!

turn it up- everything around us is dying

radio inside the girl stay between this wet urge like lazy is nice only beside void hold time we body move bodies electric

the end

i won't write this where you can read it
cause if i did
you would and i don't want any kind of connection with you -
not now. not anymore.
cause i love you too much
and i need to get over you.
cause i love you too much
and it hurts too much
and you don't wanna hear any of it because
of this and that excuse
but really it's because i'm not what you want.
i'm asking for you to tell me
and you tell me i'm asking too much-
a day later
with no sleep
and a broken heart -
feeling miles apart
and i can't stop crying
--
there is no more to write