take your dirty hands off my mirror

sun shines
summer comes
again
it's been 3 years
and i don't feel a thing
like i should
like i could
take that thought
out of mind

don’t try to find
then we'll be fine
some day
some day
or so they say
after this

will we miss? 

I don’t know

how this will go
will we be fine???
again

when we return
and the sun sets
and day is done
just like the body
of everyone
like the sun
will someday die

or maybe that 

is too just a lie
but you and I 

hopefully will be fine
 and never alone 

and maybe forever alive

are we going to be fine

with the files

with the piles 

wonders of whys

and all the cries

of everything we once knew 

as true

has been a bunch of lies

it’s time to ask

the question 

what do we do?

what do we do?

what do we do?

we can’t turn back 

it’s time to face the facts

it’s time to address

THIS FUCKING MESS

what a fucking mess

it’s time to stand up

or just be less

and less

until we are none

the time to stand up

for what is right and 

call out what's fucking wrong

the time to do right

has now begun

for anyone and everyone

who knows 

how wrong the world has been 

who knows

the fuck of a mess

we are in

the time is NOW

to begin.

you can close your eyes and close your ears

but you can’t ignore your fears

and you can’t turn away 

from other’s tears

it’s time to change the future years

if we want to go home

if we want to go home 

 if we want to go home

we need to stop burn these mother fuckers now

it’s time to take back 

all that these mother fuckers stole from us

no morals = they don’t give a flying fuck about 

you and I

they only care about them. 

it’s time for a fucking change 

 

 so I'm using this site again for a post or two.

critical self 

stop thinking 

stop drinking 

and sinking 

into doubt

I let it go here

there

and everywhere about

who am I?

I'm not who I've been told 

I'm not who others want me to be

I'm not what you see

I'm not anything like me

but I am

Go here

My new blog 

skin loves fever

child

hey child
it's time to say goodbye
to all that was
that is no longer
to all that's gone away
while the rest of has grown
a child you stay
you're much too old to stay this way

you can fight and fight
yourself and with time
but it's a fight you'll never win
and the more you fight
the less you begin
to live a happy life
it's wearing you thin

wearing you down
beating you up
taking all that you got
out for the kill
down with a shot
trying to hold on to something you're not
anymore

He told me "go write kyokie"

I am much to handle
When I need to bee handled
I am much to take in
But it's only cause you want to take me in
I'm a lot of things
That you can't understand right now
More like don't want to
But I love
And I love you
And you can have that also you in the face
Trip you up
Fuck up your world
But I need you to not ignore that
Cause
You're ignoring me
And you
And you know it

cleansing

old love
dead love
you don't care
how you are
or how you make me feel
you go out of your way
you say
the things that you can't ever take back
you go out of your way
to stay
as far away from me as you want
i do not want you
i do not care about you cause you are not my friend
or my love(r)
anymore
you don't even try to make it good or better
you allow things to go to shit
and you never show me love
to back up the meaningless words you say
- and i'm not mean
i'm honest
and calling you out on your bullshit
bullshit that falls from your mouth
like nothing
without thought or care or love
---
i'm angry cause you're such a disappointment
and i'm upset cause you wasted my time heart, love and care
if i knew you were a shitty person
and a shitty friend
i wouldn't have let you in to begin with
cause why should i care about you when you act the way you do to me
the hard part was holding on to something you are not now
the past you doesn't matter when the present you is shitty

i've been living life thinking that i loved you
but i don't love you now
and the new
is so much better
than any life involving you

there won't be any effort
to keep you around
cause i don't want to keep something that's just bad news.
no matter what you say
now or down the road
it doesn't matter anymore...
cause you don't matter anymore
the only reason i'm writing this is
for me
to dump
to let out
and let go
of anything having to do with you
i've let you weigh me down for much too long now
you are not going to change
you will never be any better
you will never be good for me or to me
who i thought you were and who i loved is not who you are now
you are not someone i want to love
you are gone
the idea of you is not you

it's a new day

It's better to burn out than fade away

I wish I could go back
But
At least
We can wipe the slate clean
And remember
This
Next time

No one knows

Unwanted
Lonely
Rejected
Judged
Not fitting in
Not belonging
I see the things I have
I love so much
But
Everything else
Is too much
Always been too much
I don't know what to do
I never did
And the less I know now
And the less you care
Who cares
Who really cares
I guess I did
But I know when it's time
For me to leave
This was not meant for someone like me

with a machete
Escape is impossible.
Fear has a new name

This is not the end even though it is the end of this

A flash
Light
Black
White out
Wipe it clean
Wash it away
Make like it was never there
But underneath new skin
And new life
Is old soul
And old tracks

I'll come again
In stone other place

With a different form
Again

And a different face
I transcend
Again
At every end

One two three four

My words fall far below the ground you stomp on
That is me
I see no reason to carry on
I see no reason to feel anything good
There is no love in my heart when it comes to you
I've been removed
Replaced
Reduced
You have made it clear
That I do not matter
I do not deserve a reply
You only respond when it suits you
Acting  like I revolve around you
Well I tried and now
I retire
You treat everyone else better
Than the way I can't even remember
But you'll remember this
And learn
When me and yesterday
Will never return
Not
Ever
Not again
Not next time
Not for you
No

The things that don't kill you make you stronger
And The things that kill you

Drive - The Cars

Who's gonna tell you when,
It's too late,
Who's gonna tell you things,
Aren't so great.

You can't go on, thinkin',
Nothings' wrong, but bye,
Who's gonna drive you home,
Tonight.?

Who's gonna pick you up,
When You fall?
Who's gonna hang it up,
When you call?

Who's gonna pay attention,
To your dreams?
And who's gonna plug their ears,
When you scream?

You can't go on, thinkin'
Nothings wrong, but bye,
(who's gonna drive you)
(who's gonna drive you)
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?
(who's gonna drive you home)

(bye baby)
(bye baby)
(bye baby)
(bye baby)

Who's gonna hold you down,
When you shake?
Who's gonna come around,
When you break?

You can't go on, thinkin',
Nothin's wrong, but bye,
(Who's gonna drive you)
(who's gonna drive you)
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?
(who's gonna drive you home)

Oh, you know you can't go on, thinkin',
Nothin's wrong,
(Who's gonna drive you)
(Who's gonna drive you home)
Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?

(bye baby)
(bye baby)
(bye baby)

all i need

the things that i love
are here
and everything else
is either unknown
and about to happen
or not for me
not right now at least

kyoko in motion lol

Sick Of The Kyoko

Guess Who Taught Me About Kyoko

Kyoko Under The Sheets

Kyoko Is For Everyone

Exploring Kyoko

Game Of Kyoko

Putting An End To Kyoko

Kyoko Talked Me Out Of It

Kyoko Is Better Than Sex

Kyoko Implosion

Facing Kyoko

Kyoko Will Bring Us Together

The New Face Of Kyoko

Recovering From Kyoko

Strange Kyoko

Foxy Kyoko

Kyoko Is A Girl Called Wednesday

Kyoko On The Mind

Kyoko Party

The Beauty Of Kyoko

Broken Kyoko

Suped Up Kyoko

Unstoppable Kyoko

Introvert Kyoko

Supernatural Kyoko

My Wooden Kyoko

100mph Kyoko

So Much For The Kyoko

The Kyoko

Bright Kyoko

Jealous Kyoko

Rampant Kyoko

Kyoko Detox

Kyoko Is My Middle Name

War Of Kyoko

Kyoko Days

Staring At All This Kyoko

Kyoko Has No Answers

Kyoko Hits You Hard

Kyoko On A Stick

Taming The Kyoko

Game Of Kyoko

Freezing Kyoko

Running Out Of Kyoko

Kyoko From Heaven

Phony Kyoko

Kyoko In A Frame

Sick Of The Kyoko

Kyoko All Over The Floor

Kyoko, Kyoko, Gimme The Kyoko!

 

Kyoko Plans

Kyoko Compliments

Kyoko Visions

Kyoko Strength

Kyoko Faults

A Strange Kinda Kyoko

Kyoko Emotions

Kyoko Thunder

Kyoko Choices

Kyoko Chores

Kyoko From Top To Bottom

Kyoko Violence

Kyoko Techniques

Kyoko Lightning

Kyoko Fashion

Kyoko Promises

Kyoko Distractions

Kyoko Ideas

Everything Is Kyoko

Too Kyoko To Think

The War On Kyoko

Kyoko On My Mind

New York Kyoko

A Flash Of Kyoko

Remembering Kyoko

Nothing To Do With Kyoko

Unforgettable Kyoko

Unforgettable Kyoko

Suck My Kyoko

Blizzard Of Kyoko

Green Kyoko

Stray Kyoko

Broken Kyoko

Violent Kyoko

Sick Of The Kyoko

Nature Of The Kyoko

My Wooden Kyoko

Day Of The Kyoko

1 Less Kyoko

Transparent Kyoko

Let There Be Kyoko

Kyoko Will Turn You Around

Kyoko On The Floor

One Night Of Kyoko

Kyoko Safari

Fake Kyoko

Kyoko Taken For Granted

Light Kyoko

Looking Down On Kyoko

There's Nothing Like Kyoko

We Don't Need No Kyoko

Kyoko Unleashed

Rounding Up The Kyoko

Instant Kyoko

Kyoko Like This

Little Kyoko

Careless Kyoko

Infinite Kyoko

Game Of Kyoko

Kyoko On Ice

 

Kyoko Gestures

Kyoko Frowns

Kyoko Bombs

Kyoko Warmth

Kyoko Bargains

Kyoko Powers

Kyoko Heat

Kyoko Talent

Kyoko Politeness

Kyoko Adventures

kyoko on no!

 

hydrogen carbon and rust

soup hydrogen soup carbon 

truths scratched from the dirt 

rusting trucks 

die with years
in dry grass below

and with vultures above 

in waiting 

hungry like the old

hungry like the forgotten
waiting in line

for the dead

to come

waiting 

like we wait 

to die

orange big muff juice

the End
end
end
and everyone is waiting here for you
you
you
fight a fight that never ends
and
Me,
I've said enough
and the
One who bleeds out
is the one
I reach for
I reach For you in
 i want to kiss your venom stained mouth
did you ever
Realize
the life I see
is your Face
is a sin
the truth lies there
Now who's there with me now
when all we want
Is what's real
until it's everything I had
i have no more
It's not like this
just like this
just like
the end
the end
end
end
just like You
do you
want
I just want
it to shut up
blisters on
So pissed off
you're not alone
here
not At all
you would rather feel
pain than nothing
at all
walking with a blistered soul
i can't wash away those years
just walking around I hear
You talk about your life
I wish that was my own
I try to get in
but i'm Passed over looked over
never
nothing
no
not nobody
no
No
NO
I won't
let them make you sorry
a stranger strange
is who i am
i am everything i hide
everything i am
is a lie
from all the
Way
today
just fell apart like
everything
and nothing
right
it's me
who never gives up
the never ending fight
against myself
i am my own bad
all in my head
and i will turn
my own back on me
you fight to be you
and i fight to hide what is me
But it's too little, too far to throw
it all away
away
far away
maybe some other day
you can have
you can use
if you want
if you need
if you wish
to find
me

the mess we are

Face and I said wrong
you comfortable liar you're such
A comfortable liar
you're such a mess
Why would I wanna be like you
I cannot
Control
the mess  we are
we are in,
if I
what if i
What if
what if
what you want
i want you to
See I'm not the only one who
Would carry on
this
is how
it's going to be
The one maybe
I'm the one who
Would carry on
this
far away
in my way
You're wrong
if you feel
any magic to
  back off
back down
I always clean your fucking mess and
Leave no trace
no evidence
I am letting
You know
you stand reborn
before us all
so glad
To see you
again
I would die, to mold
it new
and i am now caught up in
this hell
so don't fake
it
This is
don't remember,
i remember when this was
my
Life
  caught in the rewind
caught in the capture
of ridicule
i'm the fool
to everyone
I'm
Tired of paying
and playing
a game
that will end always the same
Silence
just gets in
from the back
from the fold
the oldest story ever told
Burn like the way
I'm wired
so could you maybe
Lend a hand
to help a drowning man
whose eyes of better
got stuck in clouds
Feelings all right
but not right now
not this time
It's over it's over, this is
How, you, steered it
as bad
as you feared it
as bad as
you always wanted it to be
and I need is serenity
I don't need you
I Stumble then I crawl
with you around
you could be
the death of me
Just like you
do it all for You
you know this world is not for me
and I don't feel
everything's alright
but she was always
better at this game than me ...

i lied...

i let you excuse me
of

having any taste

sometimes you have to wallow in your own shit
before you realize
what you are now
is shit
you are what you produce


there's only two types of
expression (art music creation etc.)

good
and
bad

everything
 in between
doesn't matter
if it doesn't
last


if it doesn't hold
if it doesn't stay
true
or inside your heart or brain
somewhere
and make you
feel something
then it doesn't fucking matter

lie witness news at Coachella - hahaha super funny

this is ridiculous and hilarious .... stop trying to be cool kids and start being nerdy... at least you'll know what the fuck you're talking about-
you don't have to lie to kick it

Let it bleed, watch it burn, move on

Hanging on my wall

Is a picture

Of a painting

I did

When we first met. 

I saw it today

In a different way

And I cried 

After when I was done crying 

I took the picture off my wall 

And set it on fire 

Along with a few other reminders 

Of something I don't need to remember anymore 

It's gone now

Just like you. 

Shortly after I painted something new for someone else. 

It's now haging on my wall ;)